As often happens when you dream and believe, the stars have aligned and I have this great opportunity in front of me. It's something I want, something I believe in, and I know I'm prepared for it. But it's a bit of a risk and I don't know the outcome. And while I realize that no one ever really knows for sure the outcome of every little thing that happens in their lives, it's still hard for me to stay in the moment and not worry about the what ifs.
When this happens, this feeling of uneasiness, I turn to this book I have about yogic philosophy. Last night I opened it up to the chapters about individual discipline, and flipped to saucha. Saucha, according to the niyamas, talks about purifying the mind of negativity and fear of the unknown to reveal sheer commitment to the practice of yoga and to all things in your life. It speaks to the importance of living mindfully and without hesitation, and dedicating all your energy and attention to whatever it is you're doing. If you're sitting there in stillness, sit completely in that stillness. If you're grocery shopping, grocery shop with full awareness and presence. That idea of being committed to what you love, what you believe in, what you're all about - it reminded me of this article about how to live without irony.
"Observe a 4-year-old child going through her daily life. You will not find the slightest bit of irony in her behavior. She has not, so to speak, taken on the veil of irony. She likes what she likes and declares it without dissimulation. She is not particularly conscious of the scrutiny of others. She does not hide behind indirect language."
How beautiful is that passage? To essentially commit yourself wholeheartedly to what you love and not worry about anything?
So I'll do that. Pursue this opportunity without hesitation, and take a leap of faith that it'll all work out.