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The other day I received a direct message on my Instagram account. I had so much to say, I decided to put it into a full blog post. I’m hoping it’ll be helpful to her, as well as anyone else who is struggling out there.
I’m sorry to hear that you’re struggling. That is never a good place to be, when you stay in that space for too long. Here are my two cents.
What I hear you saying are ultimately two things:
You miss your personal practice, and there isn’t enough time in the day to fit it in and take care of you. You feel burned out by all that work, lack of time, and the chaos of your life in general, given the challenges presented in 2019 with break ups, colleague issues and student issues. The end result is that your morale is low.
Your plate is very, very full. Too full. There is constant work to be done at the studio, and you are managing it, barely, by sacrificing your mental health, because you haven’t been able to take care of you in a while. The end result is that you feel the need to take on a second job and step away from teaching so that you can fix problem #1 which is that you miss your personal practice.
In my experience, the life of a yoga teacher who owns her own studio and is in business for herself is a constant grind. For the most part, I love the grind. I love the daily challenge of what I can create out of nothing, of how I might be able to help someone who walks through my studio door, or what I might be able to say online that may help shift someone’s day. I wake up and embrace the unknown as I work towards my vision of what I want.
Sometimes, though, sometimes I get stuck in the grind, and my perspective shifts. My mental talk goes from, “Fuck yeah! You can do anything, and I mean anything, you put your mind to!” to “You suck. This sucks. It’s horrible. You’re horrible. Nothing will ever work.” That place is a tough spot to be in.
In 2015, I had what I can only categorize as a nervous breakdown. I was trying to find time for me, so I decided I’d get up at 4:30am and workout and practice at 5am. I’d get home around 7:30am, shower, eat breakfast and start my day. I’d grind all day long trying to make things happen. Just me, myself and I sitting at my desk writing blog posts, answering emails, pitching, taking calls, filming in my work space for the YouTube channel, coordinating retreats with my marketing director, and then I’d break again at 4pm for another self-care session of working out and yoga, which would last until 6pm and then I’d eat dinner, work until ten or eleven pm, and do it all over again the next day. That went on for weeks, and as you can imagine, I burned out. I felt so depressed, so drained, so empty inside. My self talk was my own worst enemy. Everything felt overwhelming. I started being unable to sleep, acne sprung up, and my adrenals were shot.
I decided none of it was worth it, wrote an honest post, closed everything down for about a week, and took care of myself. I went hiking with my mom and Buckles. I read. I journaled. I shopped for healthy, nutritious food and meal prepped. I tried to find laughter in every day. And something shifted within. A flicker of hope. A spark of Maybe-I-Can.
When I got back on the proverbial horse, I decided that this time around, I’d watch for stress like a hawk. I’d allow a little bit of manageable stress in, but the second it felt like it was too much, I’d make a change. I held strong to that commitment for about three and a half years. And then 2019 happened.
Last year was very tough for me. Not as tough as 2015, but too close for my liking.
See, I’d opened my own studio, and it was taking a very long time to grow. Even now, it’s just barely taking off. Every month, I’m losing money on that endeavor. Sort of. But that’s because it’s a new business. When I started YogaByCandace LLC, it took about two years to be profitable and I know that is not the norm, at least in the US. Usually it is around year three or so that things become profitable and manageable. So I have to keep my expectations in check.
I also started saying yes to nearly every opportunity that came my way because people have not been signing up to retreats like they used to, and I need to supplement the income I was losing from the studio somehow. Saying yes to so much meant working constantly.
In addition, my daily routine was completely thrown because I now had to work out of my studio which is a fifteen minute drive from my home, which tacks on another 30 minutes (without traffic) to my day that I didn’t have to deal with before. I’d also moved in with my boyfriend and our new gym was 30-40 minutes away, depending on traffic, which sucked another hour, at least, out of my day.
And by the end of 2019 I was in rough shape. I was very moody, my body was aching, and my brain felt like it was going to explode. I have a fantastic team, but we were all giving 110% and all had our own issues going on. With so many one-time start up costs for the studio, coupled with my own continuing education for my 300hr training and my personal training program, we netted about 12% less than the year prior, and my goal for 2019 had been to net 25% more than the year prior (a lofty goal, I’ll admit). Anyway, you can imagine my disappointment.
But recently, something happened. I read this book Can’t Hurt Me, and it lit a fire inside that I haven’t felt in years. My struggle was that there wasn’t enough time in the day. I complained about that and threw my hands in the air like, ‘What am I going to do?! There simply isn’t enough time in the day.”
And then I read the book, in which it asks you to truly be honest with yourself. I had to ask myself if I was really using my time wisely. Like, yes, there are only 24hours in a day, and 6-8 of those need to be hours when I’m sleeping, but what am I actually doing during those other hours?
I realized I was getting distracted. I was scrolling through social media. I was reading dumb click-baity articles on Facebook. I wasn’t focused when I should’ve been focused, and I wasn’t truly relaxing when I should have been relaxing.
Now, I’m planning out each hour of each day, and I am getting so much more done for YogaByCandace LLC and Namaslay® Studios. That planning also includes my rest time, and when I rest, there's no technology. When I rest, I’m walking the dog, or reading something inspiring, or doing something that makes me happy like taking a dance class.
The book Can’t Hurt Me taught me that I have to be honest with myself.
The next thing it taught me was that I could use my frustrations as fuel. When the going gets tough, it’s easy to look around and complain about everything that isn’t working, and sit and stew in that pool of negativity. Or I could use those frustrations and that angst as fuel. I made a list of everything that wasn’t working for me, and said to myself, ‘I am bigger and more powerful than these things,’ and thought critically about how I could make changes to start to reduce and ultimately eliminate the things that weren’t working for me.
So let’s bring it back to your case:
There’s no time for your self-practice. Solution? Simply put, and forgive me if this sounds harsh, make time. It’s as simple as that. That might mean you offer a student discount to one student per month who will clean your studio or help manage your studio in exchange for a free or discounted membership. That will free up time for you. Maybe you bring in another teacher or two, and if you can’t afford to pay them, offer them a low base rate plus a commission or a per person head amount for the students they bring to the studio. That will free up time. If those things aren’t feasible, add a daily Open Studio class where people can simply come in and self-practice for a dontation, and guess who will be the first student in that class? You. And you’ll earn a small amount of money for that, which will help your studio. None of those things will work? Get up earlier. Even if it’s 30 minutes. You don’t need a 75 min practice in order for it to count. Ten minutes, fifteen, thirty - anything is better than nothing. I would not take a second job so you can reconnect with your practice. To me, that sounds counterintuitive.
There’s constant work at the studio and it’s overwhelming. I’d suggest a couple things.
Are you actually resting when you’re meant to rest? That is, when you do actually rest, I would put your phone away, and simply journal, get out for a walk, or do something that brings you joy. In addition, are you actually working when you’re meant to be working or do you get easily distracted? I would suggest planning out your days with a daily To Do List, and along that list, write down the time allotted to each task. Do this first thing in the morning after you meditate and practice, so you can feel good about attacking the day.
Can you bring in additional help? Like I mentioned, offering little jobs to skilled and trust-worthy students in exchange for a discounted membership would free up responsibilities for you. You could post jobs for cleaning, front desk/checking people in, someone who is good at newsletters or social media, etc., and you’d essentially be enlisting help at such a low cost to you.
Get back to your why. Why did you want to start a yoga studio? Likely, it’s because you wanted to help others. How does it feel when you lead a class where you’re fully present, and happy to be there? Is this fulfilling to you? Get back to your why, and shift your focus to the ultimate goal, which I’m willing to bet is to serve others. Acknowledge this tough time, yes, but use your frustrations as fuel to be empowered as you figure shit out. You’re only in year one as a studio. Normally, it takes three years for a small business to find its groove. I’m not saying you have two more years of this current feeling, but I’m encouraging you to see this moment in your life as a stepping stone to where you want to be. If you need more help, consider coming to our long weekend Business and Marketing Retreat in Santorini this April, or DM me for one to one Business Coaching which I offer via Skype.
Ultimately, remember that you’re never alone. Remind yourself of your own inherent power. Of all that you have endured throughout your life, and yet here you are, still fighting the good fight. But now it’s time to examine everything with a fine-toothed comb, own your power, step into your leader position and take a stand. Use any resentment, frustration or anger as fuel to shift away from focusing on what isn’t working, to using your power to eradicate those issues. Operating from a place of abundance and sense of thriving takes hard work, and most of it starting with simply making the conscious choice to say, ‘I invite abundance into every aspect of my life. I choose happiness for every facet of my being. I own my power, and I refuse to be knocked down.’ You got this. Go get ‘em.