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Hey everyone! I’ve been taking Hip Hop Dance classes and have really enjoyed moving my body in new ways, training my mind to multi-task, and doing something fun to mix it up during the week. When Ashley was here for our Namaslay® YTT Refresher, we took a class together and had a blast, and since she’s been home in Texas, she’s started looking for new ways to broaden her horizons and get out of her comfort zone, too. She and her sister started taking Brazilian Jiu Jitsu style self defense classes, so I asked her to share her experience with us here. Have you taken any self defense or martial arts lessons before? We’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments! xo - Candace
If there’s anything I’ve learned in studying yogic philosophy and the nature of life, it’s that opportunities to learn a lesson keep coming around until you get it. When we pay attention to the patterns and synchronicities, and ask - what’s the lesson here? - transformational growth is possible. A few years ago my then-boyfriend began his love affair with training Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. I was supportive of his work as I was finding new depth in my yoga practice and began to understand the value of working on an art that can never be perfected and is always evolving, but not so much that I wanted to go train with him. He would come home from the gym tired and sweaty, sometimes overjoyed with the new techniques he learned and sometimes overwhelmed by the mountains of progress awaiting his climb, feelings I am quite familiar with now, thanks to yoga. We couldn’t sit on the couch together for more than a few minutes without him trying to put me in some sort of choke or leg lock; he was obsessed.
I was intrigued by the sense of community he felt with his training partners, the discipline he was developing on the mat and how it transferred to his life of work and play. I was proud of his growth and envious for my own, but the amount of physical contact involved made it difficult for me to consider ever training with a stranger in a class. And, if I’m being totally honest, having my ass handed to me on a regular basis wasn’t something my ego was ready for yet. Yoga was a softer transition into my body, connection with myself, and my ability to connect with others, and it continues to be my favorite tool for personal growth. Now that I’ve done some work on my yoga mat, I feel much more comfortable in my skin, more in touch with myself, and more open to relating to others. But I’ll admit - the curiosity for BJJ has stuck with me for years.
Friends of mine have taken up BJJ and Mixed Martial Arts training, and in learning more about the mindset and philosophy behind it, I’ve allowed my curiosity its space. When my mom started taking classes and recommended a Women Empowered® course through Gracie University, I finally said yes. Here’s what I’ve learned so far:
My sister went with me to our first lesson. We were both nervous as we walked into the gym, and I told myself what I tell people new to yoga: Being a beginner is a blessing. Remember you’re not expected to know anything, so as long as you step into the student mindset, everything will be just fine. Seek to learn and not to prove yourself.
The instructor introduced us to everyone - a group of women of all ages, shapes and sizes - and assured us this would be a relatively gentle course. “No one will try to smash your face or choke you, but we do practice the techniques on one another, with a reasonable amount of force, to train your mind and body for stressful situations. We learn to stay calm in the midst of chaos and fall back to our training.”
2. It reminded me of the James Clear quote, “You don’t rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.” Training with consistency is more powerful than intensity, especially when you’re under duress and don’t have the time or space to think.
After warm ups and a demo of the first technique we were to learn, we partnered up for practice. I immediately reached for my sister to be my partner, but two other women in the class came over to us and said we’d get more out of it if we practiced with someone we didn’t know.
3. Get comfortable being uncomfortable. Because the Women Empowered® class is centered around self defense techniques, many of the students in the room were survivors of assault. They weren’t there to train for a competition. They wanted to know what to do if it happened again. They wanted to feel strong and sure of themselves walking to their cars at night, getting on an elevator, going for a run. My new partner, a middle aged woman who brought her teenage daughter to train with her, didn’t mince words as she climbed on top of me and said, “Ok, I’m the bad guy. What are you going to do now?”
I did not expect the immediate panic I felt. I was not prepared for the deep fear that moved through me as a stranger got down in between my legs and put her hands on me. Even though I could see what a caring woman this mother was, and even though I knew I was in a safe space, I wanted to cry. I have experienced assault, too, and as I’ve learned through reading this book, my body didn’t differentiate between past trauma and current circumstance. Thankfully, I was able to fall back to my practice of breath work. I took a few deep breaths and went through the motions I’d just seen. I got it wrong. I tried again. We switched roles, gave each other feedback, then lined up with the rest of the class to await the next part of the lesson.
After a few more drills, we gathered around for closing words. Our instructor reminded us:
4. There will always be a bigger, more difficult obstacle ahead. It’s not about being the strongest person in the room, or the fastest. It’s about taking power over your own body. It’s about connecting with your inner strength and maintaining stillness of mind in the face of adversity. It’s about having a plan for when the shit hits the fan, so you can keep your head and do your best.
5. There will be failures. There will be pain. There will be struggle. You will reach the top of one mountain only to see the peaks of 3 taller ones in the distance. But when you are intimately familiar with what lies within, what lies without is not near as frightening.
I have much to learn. I still consider myself a beginner yoga student, and most certainly a beginner in martial arts, but I’ve found a deep trust in the order of things. Becoming more aware, paying attention to the lessons that cross my path, and putting in the work are all I can do. If you train BJJ, take a self defense class, or are otherwise honing a new skill, I’d love to hear the lessons you’re learning in the comments.
