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Every year for the last three or so years, Improving Sleep has been at the top of my New Year’s Intentions. And every year, I just can’t seem to get it together. Until this year.
To back track for a sec, my sleep has never really been that great. In fact, I can’t remember a time in my life where I was sleeping soundly. I’ve always been a light sleeper and a night owl. I’d be tired all day long and then midnight would roll around, and I’d be wide awake thinking about how in the world whales actually sleep, or what would happen if the sun actually exploded, and if life on earth as we know it would end. You know, totally normal stuff.
For a while, it was kind of a running joke that I couldn’t sleep. But around 2015 I had a really awful bout of adrenal fatigue which led to a near nervous breakdown, and then I started to take it more seriously and recognize what a problem it was. My lack of sleep, combined with how much physical exertion I was putting out each day, really put me in the danger zone.
I half-heartedly tried all the things Google tells you to do. I made the room as dark as possible. I didn’t watch tv late at night. I didn’t eat past 7:00pm. But nothing really worked. Or maybe I just didn’t commit hard enough.
But after over one month of near perfect nightly sleep, I am proud to report I think I’ve finally figured it out. I’ve cracked the code, at least for me, when it comes to quality sleep. Here’s what I did.
Better Sleep Starts with No Phones in the Bedroom
Starting around mid-December (because when you have a good idea for a New Year Resolution, why wait?), we implemented a no phone in the bedroom rule. This was a rule we tried last year, but it lasted only a few days. We both made excuses related to work, but this time, we just said, “Listen, if you need to check your phone, go to the living room.” This one little rule changed a lot because with so much of my work life stemming from social media and phone use, putting it outside the bedroom meant far less blue light activity, and less stimulation for my brain, which I think helps me to calm down earlier. I aim to put my phone down by 8:50pm every night.
Get in Bed Earlier for Better Sleep
After I put my phone down in the living room, I go to the bedroom, brush my teeth and get in bed. I no longer read on a Kindle unless I’m traveling, and instead opt for a paperback book. Less screen time means my eyes are sleepier. I’m in bed by 9:00pm and lights out usually happens anywhere between 9 and 10pm, depending upon how tired I am. Definitely by 10pm, though, even if I still feel like I want to stay up and read. I’ve learned that I thrive on routine, so regardless, lights are out by 10pm.
Wind Down An Hour Before Bed
No TV An Hour Before Bed - I learned this the hard way, after watching too many episodes of You right before bedtime - I sleep far better when I don’t watch tv before bed. So what do I do instead? Fold laundry, journal, leisurely clean up the kitchen, take a bath. Just mindless things around the house that don’t require me to be too alert and “on,” if that makes sense.
No Work An Hour Before Bed - I also can’t do any work immediately before bed because my brain is just fired on, and it takes a good while for me to quiet down afterwards. I stop checking my phone and computer around 8pm or so, and really try to use the time between 8 and 9pm to start quieting my mind down and get ready to get in bed.
No Coffee Before Bed - Also learned this the hard way. It’s not that caffeine really makes me feel alert or anything, at least noticeably, but a coffee in the late afternoon gives me restless sleep. It’s not that I can’t sleep when I have it - I can - but the quality of the sleep isn’t great. I wind up tossing and turning, which just isn’t worth it to me, as much as I love coffee.
Use Magnesium Lotion - We loved this product so much we put it in a Mantra Box® in the past. I’d been a customer for years, but used the product sporadically. I finally realized that putting a pump of the magnesium lotion behind the knees or in the inner elbows right before bed helped me to fall asleep. Magnesium is a mineral that many of us are deficient in, and it is readily and easily absorbed through the skin (another reason why Epsom Salt baths are so great for sleep).
CBD Oil To Unwind - I’ve been using BodyChek Wellness CBD for years, and I 100% trust their product. CBD oil is excellent for inflammation, muscle recovery, menstrual cramps, anxiety, and so much more. It’s also particularly good for relaxation, so I take it before bed - just a dropper full under the tongue. You can use affiliate code YBC35 for 35% off their entire line.
Journal - One of the things I do is reflect upon how the day went. How were my reactions to the day’s events? What went well? Where was there struggle? How could I, in the future, better handle struggle? This is a really good way to continue to have personal growth.
Create Perfect Sleep Ambiance
Now, not everyone is going to love these, but this is what works for me:
Create a dark environment - One of these days I’ll buy blackout curtains, but until then, we just threw a big navy blanket over the curtain rod. With my eyes wide open, I can’t see a hint of light, and I love that.
Turn on a sound machine - We use this sound machine, and put it on the ocean sound. It reminds me of a trip I took once to Hawaii, where I slept with the windows open to the sound of the crashing waves (and got the best sleep ever while on vacation there). I know not everyone is a fan of constant sound, but I love this. Plus, the sound machine is small and lightweight enough that I travel with it.
Use a weighted blanket - In order to have restful sleep, I find that I sleep best with an extra blanket overtop of the sheet and comforter that I use. I don’t have a weighted blanket (yet!), but that top blanket I do have (it’s just a medium weight throw), is vital for me.
The Key to Better Sleep - Having a Good Wake Up Procedure
Use a Sun Simulating Alarm Clock - I got this alarm clock years ago but only started regularly using it in December. If you want to get up at 6am, the “sun” will start on the clock at 5:45am, and if you’re still not up by 5:59am, an actual alarm will go off at 6am. We’ve only had to wait for the alarm a handful of times - the “sun” really does the trick. And for me, someone who has dealt with extreme anxiety, I prefer waking up to the light rather than a jarring alarm sound. In the past, I’ve found that alarms send this wave of adrenaline through me that make me feel honestly sick to my stomach. This is such a better way to wake up!
Get up at the Same Time Every Single Day - I know some people aren’t going to like this idea, but we learned the hard way. Getting up at the same time every day is key for excellent sleep, at least for us. We tried sleeping in one day, and it was just rough. We couldn’t sleep well that night, the day felt all kinds of cut short, and it did us no favors. Regardless of whether we have to work or not, we get up at the same time every day. It used to be 6am, but we recently decided that we love our morning routine so much, that we should try to get up a little earlier, so we are now getting up at 5:45am, and I think we’ll probably keep pushing it 15 minutes earlier or so to about 5:15am or 5:00am. The days are just so good.
Develop a Morning Routine You Look Forward To - Another key thing for us, and this is something my boyfriend read about in this book, and something I read about in this book, is that there’s something really motivating about having a morning routine you look forward to. We both do the following:
Meditate - Sometimes I’m there for 2 minutes, and sometimes I’m there for 15, but I sit, breathe, and meditate. Sometimes it’s a body scan meditation, sometimes it’s a mantra meditation, sometimes it’s contemplation. But I generally always start the day with meditation.
Stretch/Yoga - I’ll sometimes use a foam roller or massage gun for fascia release and then I’ll do my own little yoga flow. Sometimes it’s a ten minute flow, sometimes it’s twenty minutes. The beautiful thing about getting up earlier than you have to is that you’re not in a rush.
Journal / Map Out the Day - You can’t experience intentional growth if you don’t know where you want to go. With that in mind, I set out a to do list for the day, and a word to inspire the day. I keep this word in the back of my mind as the day’s, I dunno, mantra or something, and remind myself of it throughout the day. You’d be so surprised by what happens when you have intention behind your days. Goals are met. Things happen. It’s bananas.
Enjoy a Leisurely Breakfast - We usually put on music while we make breakfast and coffee. We generally choose something uplifting - The Beatles, The Supremes, etc. And we’ll make breakfast to that and chat, and just take our time enjoying our first meal of the day. It’s a really nice way for us to connect since we’re apart for most of the day, and it’s a nice way to ease into the day rather than rushing out the door.
And that is pretty much it! Like I said, I feel so good. With the exception of one day (the day I got a Whoop, more on that to come), I have slept so incredibly well, and feel so much better about the quality of my days. Let me know if you have any other tips or tricks you use to improve the quality of your sleep!
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