Friends - Today I'm excited to share that we are starting a new monthly series of personal essays from members of the YBC Community. I personally love to create content, but I don't want YBC to be the Candace Show. I firmly believe that everyone knows something I don't, and therefore, we can always learn from others. My hope is that through these deeply personal essays, we develop a deeper bond within the YBC Community, connect with one another, and learn from each other. In today's post, I am sharing an incredible essay from Lorelei (Lori) Hawkins. Hope you love it. xo Candace
Recently, I was looking back at some photographs of myself in my mid-thirties. I looked into my own younger eyes and realized that I looked…..rather unhappy. I had a good job, was a new mom, and had a loving husband who was also my friend. What could be wrong?
Family
Well, I was filled with worry and guilt that I wasn’t living up to my obligations to family and career very well. The crucial missing piece was that it never occurred to me in my 30’s to consider the obligation I had to myself at all. If I could have an americano with my 30-something self, I would share a few nuggets of wisdom with her that I’ve learned over the last decade or so.
Wild Thing
Stop worrying so much
The first would be to stop worrying so much. The thing is, worrying doesn’t change what is happening or what will end up happening later. Worrying gets in the way of living life in the moment. It sucks the joy and exciting possibilities out of life. Do whatever it takes to just stop it: sing loudly in the car, go for a run, practice yoga…..Try things until you find what stops the worry train.
If it's not working for you, give it your best try, but then be ready to walk away.
The next nugget I’d share with her is this: If it’s not working for you, give it your best try, but then be ready to walk away. This falls under the canopy of “Life’s too short for….” I think many of us feel that if we’ve put time and money into something, then we’d better suck it up and just make it work. Listen to that little voice that might be trying to tell you that any amount of sucking it up and soldiering on is not going to work. If something makes you unhappy to your core after you’ve tried your best, let it go and start over again. It’s scary, but it might be the best decision you ever make.
Showcase your strengths - Wisconsin Marathon nearing the finish line.....invited my daughter to jump in and join me as a sort of "Girl Power" moment.
Third, I’d tell her to showcase your strengths. This involves a little research into finding those strengths, and the result might be quite surprising…..and empowering. For example, I didn’t know that I could run a marathon until I was already in my 40’s. I learned to knit in my late 30’s and realized it was something that made me feel calm and creative. I also didn’t realize that my love for the practice of yoga and teaching could result in a new career path that began in my mid-40’s. Take your time, I’d tell her. Think about what you love and what you are good at doing. Combine the two, and you can’t go wrong. The absolute best part? There’s no deadline. You get to keep changing and growing and finding the best parts of life for the rest of your life. That makes you better for yourself and for everyone else in your life too.
Finally, I’d tell my 30-something self to be a bit kinder to herself. Then I’d give her a hug.
Lori Hawkins
About Lorelei (Lori) Hawkins:
Lorelei (Lori) Hawkins is the founder of Sankulpa Yoga. She lives with her husband, daughter, son, and golden retriever in Wisconsin. You can find her there randomly standing on her head or knitting or running….but not all three at once. If you are interested in her Yoga in Schools Workshop for Teachers or her Yoga for Athletes program, please visit Sankulpa Yoga.